Parents as influencers
Bullying!
What is Bullying?
Unfortunately, bullying is a common problem now days in the school but do not get discouraged. You can play a key role in preventing and responding to bullying. If you know or suspect that your child is involved in bullying, we will help you!
First, you need to know what is bullying and what is not! - click here to learn more
Bullying is aggressive behaviour that is typically repeated over time. It is meant to cause harm, fear or distress or create a negative environment at school for another student. Bullying occurs in a situation where there is a real or perceived power imbalance. We cannot confuse bullying with conflict. Conflict is a disagreement between two or more students who have a difference of opinion or different views. In conflict, each student feels comfortable expressing his or her views, and there is no power imbalance. Each student feels able to state his or her view point.
BUT
Conflict can become bullying when it is repeated over and over again and there is a power imbalance. The student who is the recipient of the aggressive conflict may feel less and less able to express his or her point of view and feel more and more powerless. That is when negative conflict may turn into bullying.
REMEMBER!!! Bullying can be:
- physical – hitting, shoving, damaging or stealing property
- sexual – touching, physical contact, sexual assault
- verbal – name calling, mocking, or making sexist, racist or homophobic comments
- social – excluding others from a group or spreading gossip or rumours about them
- written – writing notes or signs that are hurtful or insulting
- electronic (commonly known as cyber-bullying) – spreading rumours and hurtful comments through the use of e-mail, cell phones (e.g., text messaging) and on social media sites.
What are the consequences of bullying?
You must know that bullying is a problem that does not only affect to the bullied but also to those who bully and those who witness bullying.
Bullying is linked to many negative outcomes including impacts on mental health, substance use, and suicide. Have a look to the risk of bullying.
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Depression and anxiety; increased feelings of sadness and loneliness; changes in sleep and eating patterns; loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy. These issues may persist into adulthood. |
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Health complaints |
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Decreased academic achievement and school participation. They are more likely to miss, skip, or drop out of school. |
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Abuse alcohol and other drugs in adolescence and as adults |
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Get into fights, vandalize property, and drop out of school |
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Engage in early sexual activity |
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Have criminal convictions and traffic citations as adults |
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Be abusive toward their romantic partners, spouses, or children as adults |
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Have increased use of tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs |
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Have increased mental health problems, including depression and anxiety |
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Miss or skip school |
How to talk to my kid about bullying?
We recommend you to start the conversation by speaking with you child about how to be a good friend. By helping your child to understand what is to be a good friend, you will be able to ensure that her/him will develop healthy relationships now and in the future.
Here are some tips on how to start the conversation:
What does it mean to you to be a good friend?
Recommend to your child to:
- Be a good listener.
- Support and help you when you need it.
- Show you love and caring.
- Willing to call you out/to make a tough call if see you in risk
Ask what she/he would do if a friend is being disrespectful to another friend?
Recommend to your child to:
- Do not join in on it. Instead, call your friend out.
- If you witness a situation that makes you feel unsafe, do not intervene directly. Ask someone you trust, such as me, a coach, teacher, or school consuler, for help.
- If you think someone you know might be in an abusive relationship, let them know there are people they can talk to and resources that can help, like a trusted adult or the school psychology or social worker.
Through these questions, you will be able to know if you child understands or/and accept disrespectful behaviour and if they have witness bullying. Now, it is time to speak about bullying!
Start the conversations with questions:
- What does “bullying” mean to you?
- Describe what kids who bully are like. Why do you think people bully?
- Who are the adults you trust most when it comes to things like bullying?
- Have you ever felt scared to go to school because you were afraid of bullying?
- What ways have you tried to change it? What do you think I can do to help stop bullying?
- Have you or your friends left other kids out on purpose? Do you think that was bullying? Why or why not?
- What do you usually do when you see bullying going on?
- Do you ever see kids at your school being bullied by other kids? How does it make you feel?
- Have you ever tried to help someone who is being bullied? What happened? What would you do if it happens again?
How to support my kid if it is involved in bullying?
As previously we have referred, all the kids involved in bullying can be affected in short and long term in their life. That it is why, we recommend you to stand up and became an adult ally against bullying!
How to protect my child from cyberbullying?
As we indicated before, cyberbullying is bullying that takes place using electronic technology. Electronic technology includes devices and equipment such as cell phones, computers, and tablets as well as communication tools including social media sites, text messages, chat, and websites. For Examples: text messages or emails, rumours sent by email or posted on social media or posting embarrassing pictures or videos in social media.
You must know that cyberbullying is equal or worse than the traditional bullying. The reasons are:
- It can happen 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This mean that it is not stop and can happen day or night. It creates the feeling that it is not place safe.
- The messages and images can be posted anonymously and fast. Making sometimes difficult to trace the bullied.
- As you know, when something fault in internet, it is very difficult to delated.
Because of all this, we recommend you to take serious the cyberbullying and take step to make sure that your child is save. What to do?
- Be aware what your child is doing online
- Talk regularly and specifically with your children about online issues. Let them know they can come to you for help if anything is inappropriate, upsetting, or dangerous.
- Establish rules about technology use. Set time limits, explain your reasons for them, and discuss rules for online safety and Internet use
- Recommend to your children not to respond to any cyberbullying threats or comments online. However, do not delete any of the messages. Instead, print out all the messages. You need prove to save your child!
- If your child is being cyber-bullying, you should not overreact by blaming your child. Be supportive and understanding!
- Never threat your child to take away you’re her/him the computers. This only forces kids to be more secretive.
- Talk to the school
How can I advise my child about cyberbullying?
We recommend you to teach your child the following internet using safety:
- Make sure that she/him use the privacy settings.
- Tell her/ him to always respect others and to be careful what you say online.
- Ask her/him to be careful what pictures or videos you upload. A picture shared, cannot be taken back!
- Recommend her/him to add only the people that they know and trust: friends and family.
- Advice her/him to keep in secret their password
- Teach them to block the bully and how to report someone who is behaving badly.
- Let her know that the best way to stop something is by saving the evidence. Always keep a copy of offending e-mails, text messages or a screen grab of online conversations and to pass to you.
- Make sure that you tell them that she/him can trust Share this:
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