Teachers as influencers

Why is important to speak about healthy relationship in the School?

Youth spends much of their time in school where they learn social norms, form relationships with one another and symptoms of abuse manifest and occur. Teachers are key promoters of healthy relationships. Their inclusion in the action can help to prevent teen dating violence, identify and address early warning signs of bullying and how to intervene and respond effectively to incidents, including being a positive role model and Upstander.

Respect in the School

Creating relationship between peers based on respect

The process of creating positive and healthy relationships between peers is based on understanding, taking in consideration and respecting others for their beliefs, values and cultures. Respectful relations have a positive influence on pupils and teacher’s wellbeing, as well as on learning outcomes.

Positive peer relations help the process of learning by increasing pupils’ motivation and engagement in academic outcomes and lead to reductions in risk-taking behaviours, such as use of drugs and alcohol.

On the other side, negative relations between peers create a rigid climate in the school and have a negative impact on the pupils’ wellbeing. Studies have shown that both perpetrators and targets of gender-based violence are more likely to suffer from mental health problems, including anxiety and depression.

Positive teacher-pupil relation impacts positively also the engagement of pupils and see the teacher as a source of education as well as source of help. Pupils who have a poor relationship with their teacher are less likely to do well at school or ask the teacher for support when experiencing any type of abuse.

Teachers shape students to be responsible and ethical

The teacher’s role is crucial to help pupils that respect is not just a demand from the teachers, parents or school rules: respect is a way to build a responsible society. During the school years pupils understand that respect is one of the most important civic values in society and this is how they can act as responsible citizens and contribute fully to their families, schools and local communities. As a teacher, you can encourage the pupils to demonstrate respect by believing in their selves and in the worth of others and teaching them these valuable concepts:

  • Self-Respect – With self-respect, pupils have the ability to accept life’s challenges, to forgive their mistakes if they don’t meet others’ expectations, and to enjoy and care for our body, mind, and spirit and to understand and acceptance many personal, social, and cultural identities.
  • Respect for Others – As a way of creating reciprocal relations to exchange of ideas, opinions, feelings, and of respect itself and an equal balance from which we can be responsive to the other person’s unique qualities and needs in order to lead a healthy, happy and satisfying life.
  • Respect for Differences – To find ways to be true to their selves as pupils by listening to and respecting others’ truth despite differences in culture, ethnicity, or race, in sexual orientation and gender identity, in personal styles, income, abilities, and opinions.
  • Respect for Boundaries – Knowing the other person’s limits is based on the recognition of the other’s integrity and any form of physical, verbal, or emotional abuse is an ultimate expression of disrespect toward the other person.

Gender Roles & Gender Stereotypes

How can you help pupils understand gender roles?

Provide a range of role models – by giving to pupil’s real-life examples that counter stereotypes, both in your own activities, and in topic work and external visitors.

Look at gender influencers – who use which spaces and equipment? Are boys and girls taught to sew or work with wood materials at the same class or by one gender or the other? Are there changes or movements you could make to encourage children to use sportive areas and tools equally free or certain spaces, like football areas are dominated by boys?

Use inclusive language – Small labels, like saying ‘pupils’ instead of ‘girls and boys’ or ‘parents and carers’ or ‘families’ rather than ‘Mums and Dads’, can help to reduce gender differences and to strengthen cross gender relations.

Change the reinforcement – Pupils are pressured to conform to social expectation of what it is to be a man or a woman. Depending on how much they conform, they may be rewarded or punished. Gender roles are the cause of gender differences: girls realize that they should be passive and boys realize they must be aggressive. Therefore, boys are awarded for being aggressive and girls are punished for being aggressive.

Avoid class gender bias – that leads to gender stereotypes, such as: math is easier for boys than girls and girls can have better result in literature.

Romantic Relationships

What is dating violence?
Dating violence is a type of intimate partner violence that occurs between two people in a close relationship and it can be physical, emotional, or sexual. Pupils who are victims of violent dating are more likely to do poorly in school and to engage in unhealthy behaviours.
Our common goal is to stop dating violence before it starts!
As a teacher, you are a natural influencer, motivator and leader among children and youth. That gives to the pupils a role model. You play a critical role in shaping young people’s attitudes and behaviours about respectful relationships. As you work closely with your pupils you teach them to prevent gender based violence, and inspire them to think and act differently about relationships and those that go beyond friendship.
How does it feel for a young person to be in a violent relationship?
Every day millions of lives are affected by violence within the home, peers and in the community. Pupils start to explore their first close relationships and in their first experiences can be involved in violent relationships as well. You can have an immense impact on how your pupils understand and appreciate safe, healthy and respectful relationships.

What can you do to prevent dating violence

Be clear – Tell your students that abuse is unacceptable and that this is an issue you take very seriously.

Encourage Discussion – Ask students what they think about abuse. Encourage them to think critically about the impact of violence – in their own relationships and society at large.

Listen – Listen to what students tell you and what you see and hear. Let them know you care, that you are there for them and that you are paying attention.

Be Prepared – Be aware of mandatory reporting requirements that apply to you as a teacher and notify your school counsellor when you suspect abuse.

Spread the Word – Enlist your fellow teachers and administrators in raising awareness of teen dating violence.

How to deal with disclosed of gender based violence in romantic relationship in school?

As a teacher, you should be prepared to handle a situation when a child discloses an abusive relationship or affected by neglect or domestic violence at home. Either way, what they are experiencing can be harmful to their wellbeing and the way that create relations. Any disclosure of abuse should therefore be taken seriously and report it to the appropriate authorities.

If a pupil is telling you a story that indicates possible child abuse, you should pay attention without asking for details, but do not keep this conversation as a secret between you and the pupil. While listening, try to evaluate the situation: is the child seeking for medical help? Are they repetitively abused? Is anyone else involved in the abuse? What they are looking help for?

A three-step approach can help you to deal with disclosures of violence:

Listen! Do not look shocked or disbelieving;

Don’t be judgmental!

Take what they are saying seriously and believe them!

Don’t make the child or young person feel bad! For example, by saying things like: “You should have told me earlier.”

Stay calm! Tell them that they have done the right thing in telling you;

Acknowledge! It must have been hard to tell you;

Tell them that they are not to blame!

Empathies! But don’t tell them how they should be feeling;

Don’t keep it as a secret! Explain that only those that need to know will be told (for example the school’s Child Protection Office or to the psycho-social services)

Be honest! Promise them only what you can do and can’t do.

Don’t interrogate! Let them tell you as far as possible

Don’t ask probing questions! – For example questions like: “who, where, when?”

Refer your concern on to your school’s Child Protection Office or to the psycho-social services

Take notes! Record the date and time and any information given to you. Use the words said to you and never interpret or paraphrase what was said

Write down any physical injuries you have seen or been shown! For example bruises, cuts, marks tend to heal and this could be later used as evidence

Record! What you did next and with whom you shared the information ensure that all this is in line with your school’s policies and procedures.

Don’t criticize or judge the abuser! The pupil may have feelings for him or her. You should remember that episodes of abuse often happen by someone known and trusted by the child or young person
Try to follow things through yourself! The pupil doesn’t need to repeat her/his story again to other staff. Only if this is in line with your school policy and procedure
Explain what will happen next! For example, the psycho- social services will be informed, non-abusing parent or carer and the police might also be informed.
Get support for yourself! It can be distressing dealing with disclosure

Bullying!

How to understand school bullying?

School bullying among pupils is aggressive behaviour where the pupils can be either a perpetrator or a target. These aggressive behaviours some time are overlapped or confused with teasing or mocking, but they become a serious concern if are carried out repeatedly over time. The acts involve a real or perceived imbalance of power, with the more powerful child or group attacking those who are less powerful.

Bullying in school may take form in:

  • physical – hitting, kicking, spitting, pushing)
  • verbal – taunting, malicious teasing, name calling, threatening
  • psychological – spreading rumours, manipulating social relationships, or promoting social exclusion, extortion, or intimidation
  • cyber bullying – electronic technology interactions through cell phones, computers, and tablets as well as communication tools including social media sites, text messages, chat, and websites
  • sexual bullying – includes many of the actions typical of bullying behaviour with the added actions of exhibitionism, voyeurism, sexual propositioning, sexual harassment, and sexual abuse (touching, physical contact, sexual assault)

How does school bullying affect the pupils?

The impact on Bullied Pupils
Pupils who are bullied can develop physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach pains or sleeping problems. They may be afraid to go to school, go to the lavatory, or ride the school bus. They may lose interest in school, have trouble concentrating, or do poorly academically. Also, they may experience depression, low self-esteem, and suicidal thoughts or they may lash out in violent ways–the most serious being school shootings.
The impact on Students Who Bully
Pupils who bully do not fare much better. They are more likely to get into frequent fights, steal and vandalize property, drink alcohol and smoke, report poor grades, perceive a negative climate at school, carry a weapon and have an increased risk to commit crimes later in life. However, some of them are highly skilled socially and good at ingratiating themselves with their teachers and other adults. For this reason, it is often difficult for adults to discover, or even imagine that these students engage in bullying behaviour.
The impact on Bystanders
Pupils who witness bullying may also be affected. They may feel guilty for not helping, or fearful that they will be the next target. Or they may be drawn into the bullying themselves and feel bad about it afterwards. All of this may gradually change the group or classroom attitudes and norms in a harsher, less empathetic direction.

What effect does Bullying have on the school?

When bullying continues and a school does not take action, the entire school climate can be affected. The environment can become one of fear and disrespect, hampering the ability of pupils to learn. They may feel insecure and tend not to like school very well and have a negative impact on their education achievement. When students don’t see, the teachers acting to prevent or intervene in bullying situations, they may feel that teachers and other school staff have little control over the students and don’t care what happens to them.

Gender & Bullying

Pupils, regardless of gender, have a strong desire to be accepted and to belong. Although many expectations of behaviours based on gender have been challenged in the recent past, expectations and standards for behaviour still exist for both girls and boys. Being perceived as outside these standards may be costly to students developing self-concepts or those who live by standards fashioned in another culture. For many people the prevalence of school bullying gives the idea this is a natural part of growing up. Researches show that although direct physical attacks are typically three to four times more likely to come from boys, girls often demonstrate great cruelty in more subtle forms of harassment. Girls are generally more likely to use methods that would affect the social standing of a target, such as exclusion, manipulation of friendships, or spreading of rumours.

Where does Bullying happen in school?

School bullying tends to happen most often in and around schools, specifically in those areas where there is little or no adult supervision, such as: playground, hallways, cafeteria and classroom before the lesson begins.

How can you talk to parents about bullying in the school?

As a teacher, you may face resistance from parents when they are told that their child is demonstrating pre-bullying or bullying behaviours because bullying is so often considered to be an older kids’ issue. Parents may respond, “Boys will be boys,” or “He/she too young to bully” or “My child is just difficult.” Thus, parents may fail to understand that if bullying is not prevented in its early phase, it can lead a full-blown bullying.

To start preventing bullying you as a teacher should ask for parental support. During their daily routines at home, parents can help children continue to develop the essential social skils— empathy, respect, and problem solving. When educators and parents work together they ensure that students have a safe learning environment and the pupils understand that bullying must not be tolerated.

If you have difficulties to talk to a parent whose is in a bullying situation, there are some tips you can use:

Talk about bullying
Make sure that both your pupils and their parents understand what bullying is and that it won’t be tolerated.
Report bullying behaviours to parents when they occur
Despite possible resistance, parents need to know when their child is showing signs of early bullying or bullying. Explain the behaviour observed, how the teacher intervened, and the follow-up steps taken.
Foster a reciprocal relationship.
Encourage parents to contact school staff if they suspect that an incident of bullying has occurred in the classroom.
Share activities with parents.
Assign classroom activities for parents to use at home with their children to build social skills. Let parents know what empathy-building, respect and problem-solving activities you’re doing with the children.
Provide support when behaviours go beyond bullying
Children with social emotional challenges may require the support of early intervention services to help them acquire the skills they need to thrive. Support parents by referring them to the services that the school or agencies provide and making them aware of their rights.

Coaching your pupils to preven Bullying

As a coacher, you are in a position to directly influence the attitudes of your pupil’s athletes and help transform the disrespectful perceptions of gender based violence.

What can coaches do for to prevent bullying?

USE SPORT AS A WAY TO RAISE AWARENESS!

Be Prepared
Violence is an actual or threatened act of physical, sexual, psychological, and verbal harm. It can include controlling what someone does or where they go, isolating them from their friends or family, and intimating or threatening someone. It also includes hitting, slapping, pushing, or forcing someone to do something sexual.
Know your school’s policies
Be aware of mandatory reporting requirements that apply to you and notify your school counsellor if you suspect abuse.
Coach RESPECT!
Tell your athletes that you believe in treating women and girls with respect. Let them know that while you’re focusing on their development as athletes, you’re also focusing on their development as young men. This includes how they carry themselves and how they treat others on and off the field.
Listen
Listen to what your athletes tell you and what you see and hear. Let them know you care and are paying attention.
Spread the Word
Tell your fellow coaches and school administrators about the importance of preventing relationship abuse.
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